It’s hard to believe that my second semester is almost over. Monday will be the first day of Dead Week, and then finals, and then three weeks of break until my summer class starts. It doesn’t feel as if much time has passed, but I guess that’s because I’ve been a little busier this time around; I’ve been more involved with Judo club, attended every single dormitory council meeting, done more knitting and sewing, spent more time with my friends, volunteered, attended church more often, gone to Minnesota, and stepped out of a lengthy relationship.
I thought I would be more upset about it; it’s not that I wasn’t sad (of course I was!), but I thought I’d be unhappy for a longer period of time. It’s hard adjusting, but it’s kind of like I stepped out of a really long, hot shower: it was great while I lasted, but it had to end eventually. You can’t live in the shower.
I feel that I’m enjoying life just as much (if not more so) on my own as I was with my boyfriend. Yes, I enjoyed his company and his conversation, and I loved his family, but I always worried about his reaction to the things I’d do or say, especially since it was a semi-long-distance relationship. I never really went out with friends, just in case he wanted to talk or spend some time with me, and I was very reserved around guys—what if I was being too friendly? Would this upset him? Was I being too open? Did I give anyone the wrong impression? I don’t have to think about that any more. I can flirt and joke around all I like, and nobody can tell me not to. I feel like I can be more myself now, since I’m not part of a team. Also, I made some delicious, totally homemade brownies today with a very sweet boy from Judo club, so I have my dose of chocolate for the night. I think this is going to be a good year.